How to deal with insanity ?

There is a friend of mine, from college days. As it happens, we drifted apart from each other, he chose some other vocation and I chose another. At the time we were going to college, mobile phones were expensive. E-mail was also expensive but I chose to spend my money on e-mail and other methods of communication. Then about 6-8 months back, out of the blue, my friend called me back. It took me sometime as I wasn’t able to place him (I just cannot remember people and also features change a lot.) but do remember experiences. We promised to meet but at the time we were supposed to meet, it rained like it never rained before. I waited for an hour but wasn’t able to see him. I tried SMS, called him but no answer. I did try few times but never got him. He used to send me a message once in a while and I used to send a reply back. I was able to talk with his mum some days after that. Yesterday, I was trying to call some people, and his name popped up. On a hunch, dialed his number and his sis. came on the line. She was able to place me (I guess I might have met 6-8 years back or more) but still she was able to place me and she told me he’s gone insane. While I’m supposed to meet the family on the week-end to know what happened, I am still not able to process how it happened. I had known he had fallen into some bad company (his mum had shared this titbit) but can’t figure out for the life of me what could have driven him insane. I told I would be coming on Sunday as I have work, but more importantly trying to create some sense of space or control so I can digest what’s happened. While I know it happens to people, not to people I know, not to people I do care about. I also came to know that all the time my phone was not able to get through is because he has a shitty jio connection or the place where they live, jio doesn’t have a good presence.

Now one part of me has a sort of morbid curiousity as to what chain of events lead to it while at the same time dunno if I would be able to help them or what I should say or do ? Feel totally helpless. If anybody have any ideas, please yell, comment.

5 thoughts on “How to deal with insanity ?

  1. You don’t have to deal with it. His desperate family needs to accept the current state of things and believe in him. Then they will need to hope that someday he accepts his need for help. This experience can be an occasion for your personal growth, but always remember to keep yourself safe. You do not have a responsibility and you do not owe him anything.

  2. Mostly I think its best to assess the situation after meeting your friend. Maybe his sister and mom are a bit judgemental? Some people label others as “bad company” when they rarely shave and smoke some pot. Likewise it happens people label someone as having “gone insane” after a dispute ended in a termination of contact.

    This does not rule out the possibility your friend is on crack or something and will ask for money. But in any case I think its best not to project his family’s negativity on your newly resumed contact. Maybe ask him to clarify what his sister and mom told you after you’ve had a normal conversation with him. He may be looking for social contact (with you or the “bad company”) to avoid the uneasy situation at home.

    1. I did share what actually happened in another blog post. It may seem strange but I would have been far more happy if he had been communicative, asking for attention than otherwise. During my stay in the hospital, couple of years back, I was talking to one of the doctors, while she is physiologist by tag but seemed more of psychologist to me as well. This was when I was there to re-learn how to walk and how to use my muscles. She said something which I hope I remember till I die, she said ‘ We are never worried about those who cry, who ask for attention or whatever they do, the ones we worry about are those who don’t react at all, those are the ones which keeps us awake at night’ . While there were many more realizations this will be something I probably can share for today.

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